THE GOLDFISH
I have a pond in my yard – a very small pond in my very tiny back yard.
Janet told me for years that I needed a pond in my garden. We would go to Lowe’s or Home Depot during lunch to purchase plants and look at the ponds. She was certain we could find one small enough for me. I wasn’t convinced I needed one. She “collected” rocks for me to line the pond with – much like she “collected” corn stalks in the fall!
The rocks were piled in the garage – off to the side – for a few years.
Then Janet got sick. And we cried and missed her so much and we prayed. God heard us. Not only did He give us back our friend, our Mother, our spouse, but He gave us an opportunity to be witness to a miracle – an ABSOLUTE MIRACLE!
And so, in honor of Janet, I put in “our” pond this past summer. We dug out the dirt in one day – making 2 monstrous piles in the back yard. We made 10 trips using a large garbage can to haul the heavy loads through the house and wheeled it to a neighbor’s
who used the dirt to fill in bare areas of his yard.
I filled the pond with water, plants and 2 goldfish and lined it with Janet’s rocks. Janet was right – not only did I need the pond, but I grew to cherish the beautiful, rapidly growing goldfish. They brought joy and peace to my little outdoor sanctuary.
Our gardens grew and flourished. All was good. Janet was again back with us.
I worried if the goldfish could survive the cold winter – but they did.
Even after the snowfalls melted, I could see them both swimming, in slow motion, under the ice. On Wednesday, I let the dog out and walked over to the pond.
One of the goldfish had succumbed. Thursday morning, I scooped it out and sadly disposed of it. When I went to work that afternoon, I was told that Janet, too, had succumbed. Friday, at lunch, Linda so wisely reminded us that Janet would NOT want us to be sad. True, but how could I not see the bitter irony?
That night, after work, I again went to the pond. After a few minutes of peering deeply into the water, I finally spied the second goldfish. Slowly, but most assuredly, swimming.
That is when I realized what God really wanted me to see.
The goldfish that died was the passing of Janet’s diseased body.
The living gold fish is Janet’s spirit, her soul, her love, her memory.
Always alive. Always with us. Strong and hardy.
I will forever see her in each blooming flower, each butterfly that flits by,
each snow flake that falls. I will feel her presence beside me every time I sit at the
Triage desk, and each time I start the engine of my “baby Vibee”.
I will kiss my cats for her “on their tiny little cat lips”. I will raise up my tea cup to her with my pinky pointing. I will keep her memory alive and close to my heart always. And I will “see” her every time I sit at our pond and gaze upon her beautiful, swimming goldfish.
Thank you Janet, for your friendship, your inspiration and your grace.
And thank you God, for lending to us Your dear child, Janet. Keep her safe and warm in Your arms and carry her family until they are again able to walk beside You.
